i could drink bailey's like i used to drink shots of vodka. (i.e. like juice.)

sometimes you just have to believe that your life is like one of those trampoline acts at barnum and bailey's - that every time you fall you're going to bounce right back up. and that your highest jumps usually come from the hardest falls. i can't think of any bad situation i've been in that hasn't left me with something good. and i don't think that's because i'm one of those artificially happy people who sugarcoats everything and never feels bad. in fact, i'm a huge sap and i feel every little earthquake of life like it's the big one*. it's just that i have real faith that there is always something good to take from every experience and every person you meet, even if you have to dig for it or wait for it to reveal itself**.

reminding myself of this is helpful because i tend to be so ambivalent about (among many other things) change. i get bored and antsy and feel stuck easily, yet i'm sentimental over the stupidest little things and i hate the thought of never being able to have this exact moment/era back again. basically i haaate when things are over. endings feel so... ugh... permanent (illogical, right? if i'm not happy with change i should be happy with permanence. i make no sense, even to myself.) i think that's why i despise moving - the thought of never again returning to a place that has housed my life and colored my memories for ____ years makes me sad. well, that, and i hate packing with a fiery passion.

so, i know this sounds nuts, but i actually have to remind myself that it's pointless to fear starting new things just because i hate when they end. of course it's one thing to know something intellectually but it's another thing to really live by it (which i don't).

this has turned out to be more new agey and confusing than i'd planned. next time i promise to go back to more fun topics like jay-z and funny lookin' babies. :)

p.s. i'm so grateful for phones and internet and cars and planes, and y'all on the other end who make me laugh and think and be better. you know i'm always in your corner, too. ♥

p.p.s. loin, i'm so so glad to be caught up on each other's stuff. miss you!

*the actual big one IS coming, btw. hopefully it'll wait til the state's not broke. http://www.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1858700,00.html
**this idea reminds of randy pausch's last lecture, where he talks about waiting for the good in people to come out, and not giving up on anyone. sometimes i like to go back and watch some of his lecture. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZbOQqtDAW0

outlook

the only thing more gratifying than looking back and seeing your own progress is realizing it while it's happening.

doin 55 in a 54

i did some research on the $181.50 speeding ticket we got on the 10 freeway in middleofnowhere, arizona last month. the one that was the result of a hidden camera on a freeway overpass. the one that we got for going 76 mph in the middle of the night in, again, the absolute middle of nowhere. the one that came up all of a sudden, with no visible signage or notice except an odd flash of light catching some other driver ahead of us.

so first i looked a little bit into the lawfulness (is that a word?) of the law. bummer, of course it checked out clean. i was about to pay it and get back to work but i thought i'd prolong my break a bit and google for some arizona speeding trap camaraderie. i found plenty of that. i also found out more about the inception of the law. it turns out that janet napolitano pushed this through in arizona while she was still governor, and admitted that she purposely created the law in such a way that would "discourage" people from contesting the tickets. she made it so that when you get the ticket, your insurance company isn't notified and you don't get points on your record. voila, easy revenue for the state. probably to go toward more border patrol. ugh.

i HATE it when laws are written so subjectively to screw over citizens, and i couldn't believe napolitano was so bold as to admit it. oh, and then i realized that there's another reason the law is written in the law's favor - most people who get caught speeding on arizona highways are probably out-of-staters who can't easily contest the stupid law. and that made me so annoyed. so i called whichever agency it was in arizona and asked how i could contest the ticket from the other side of the country, even though i already knew the answer. i like to get background info, so i also asked, "you probably see this a lot, huh? out-of-staters getting these tickets and not being able to show up in court?" yep. UGH.

i totally could've given that $181.50 to michael kors.

p.s. the title of this entry is from 99 problems. jay-z, 'acourse. :)

tom hanks was on family ties

Here's the deal. It's easy, really. You're assigned a letter, and then you write 10 things you like that start with that letter! (If you want to participate, leave a comment with your email and I'll give you a letter of your very own!)

So, per Adriana, my letter's P.

here we go, in no particular order:

1. pepper.
pepper instantly makes anything taste better. of course not all pepper is created equal. freshly ground is the best. i've actually eaten pepper by itself before. just a few specks is all you need!

2. politics.
as y'all know. :)

3. problem-solving.
i don't like the problem part, but i like the solving part. it's so satisfying to tackle something and figure it out and conquer it. and then every problem you encounter in the future that's of equal difficulty seems a little more manageable.

4. peep-toe heels.
just like pepper, not all peep toes are equal on my list. the best designs, i think, have a rounded-ish and modestly-sized peep with high, but not too chunky heels.

5. paul simon.
one of my long time, all time faves. he's so talented. i liked him with garfunkel but i do think he did some of his best work solo. i recommend the graceland album. it was made in the mid-80s but it's timeless.

6. politeness.
i love it. please, thank you, hello, you're welcome, take care, good night, bless you, i'm sorry. handshakes, smiles, handwritten cards. good cell phone etiquette. good movie theatre etiquette. good restaurant etiquette. so many people are so abrasive and rude and demanding that i always notice when people are pleasant, particularly to strangers. it's one thing to be nice to people you know - people who would hold you accountable if you WEREN'T - but it's another thing to be nice when you could get away with being a jerk.

7. poop.
yep. i like stupid bathroom jokes as well as discussions of gastrointestinal troubles, colon cleanses, detoxes, colonoscopies, parasites, stool sample procedures, newborn poop, etc. i even used to enjoy shoveling horse poop. the whole subject is fascinating, you know it. :)

8. privacy.
i'm big on it. i gotta have some time alone to regroup my brain. so i totally get it (and sometimes go overboard to accommodate) when people need space. i also hate it when parents are TOO involved in their kids' lives. i think kids benefit from having their own thoughts.

9. poison (the bel biv devoe song).
"girl, i must waaarrrn youuuu!" i've always loved this song and love it when they still play it in clubs. it's surprisingly hard to karaoke, so be careful if you attempt it.

10. peace.
i lost my peace sign necklace, which i was pretty much wearing daily. no idea where it's at. :( but i'm hopeful for more and more peace in the world now that barack's in office. i like the fact that the concept of peace has become modern (and relevant) again, not just a hippie symbol of the 70s. call me a californian if you must. :)

bonus:
11. alex p. keaton
i loved that show "family ties" in the 80s, particularly the character of alex p. keaton (michael j. fox). it was so ridiculous that this teenager insisted on using his middle initial everywhere.

i am fake american, hear me roar

hello, old blog, sorry i'm late. promise i'll do better. also promise i'll keep breaking that promise. i'll probably also keep resolving to drink eight glasses of water a day and coming up four glasses short. people just don't change so easily.

in with the new

☮ in 2009!

kool-aid should come out with acai flavor

i just realized today that sunkist soda is a play on the phrase "sun kissed." i have these moments so often - when the origin of a word i've used all my life suddenly dawns on me and i feel like a complete idiot. i'd just never thought about it before. i also just recently noticed, while talking about the "baby phat" clothing brand, the connection between that brand and the term "baby fat." it's so weird how the mind works (and sometimes doesn't work).

OJ's in jail, it's cold enough to use the heater, i've given away my old jewelry collection... i smell change in the air. happy friday!